Goodbye, Chuck

Yesterday was a happening day for me. I lost almost every shoe I own to the 805 freeway. My dad left the tailgate of his truck open while he was helping me move, so we lost a box on the way. I really wish I'd had a camera with me when I went back to find them because the image was pretty awesome. They were all run over and broken, some of them were chilling out in the slow lane, while others were just sitting there, obliterated and smushed to pieces, on the side of the highway. My dad and I collected what we could, salvaged a couple pairs of shoes, then put them in a pile to look at in admiration. My fishing boots were run over a lot, but are apparently still in working condition. All of my pumps and heels for gigs and work are dead. My sneakers -- and my much-loved chucks -- are also deceased.

What?

I've written 3 songs since my last visit. (Actually, since last week.) I'm on an inspiration high, coupled with an amazing-food high and a no-worries high. I am learning to love and read and speak out. (I'm also getting a lot better at Tetris.)

What else could I possibly want? I'm in recording for my band right now (which I'll probably blog on later, seeing as I absolutely love my band) and we're preparing to gig in July. I'm moving over to State in late August and moving back to my dad's (and therefore getting the hell out of this crazy, huger-environment) on Wednesday and for the remainder of the summer. I'm really excited to be happy and capable of everything I've worked for.

Hemingway and Fitzgerald make me smile.

And so does really good sushi and Brazilian BBQ.

v(^_^)

I'm done with Mesa :] I'm gonna take a summer piano class there, but other than that...it's just work.

"I've reached the end of an era." I say that every two years, but only because it's usually true-ish.

I finished my last final at 9:23am yesterday. I finished the hardest semester of my life at 9:23am yesterday. I bought my last Red Bull for a very long time right before the final. Did it taste like justice? Absolutely. The justice of being able to take over my life again fills me with nothing but pure delight and happiness. I can relax. I can stay up late. I can sleep in sometimes. I can have enough time to clean and do laundry. I can sleep on the grass. I can have a picnic. I can go to the beach. I can live.

I no longer have to worry too much about getting home early enough to sleep enough to wake up early enough to go somewhere. I no longer have to put school ahead of my passion for music (until September anyway :P).

AND summer's here, which means my best friend comes home for the summer soon. AND summer's here, which means I have days off and therefore time to go up to Long Beach and get some fried chicken & waffles.

I get to love life again <3

The End.

I am officially done with ever being forced to deal with my Music Theory/Ear Training teacher (as of yesterday at 11:53am). It is a new era. Two years of dealing with her crap and two years of slowly being driven into an addiction to Red Bull. I needed it just to get through her class every day without punching a wall, which is odd considering my tendency to keep violent thoughts and feelings to a minimum. So, by now, my addiction is at a madly high level...and tomorrow I will buy my very last Red Bull for a very long time. I'll probably still accept them if they're given to me (which happens on rare occasions), but I will not buy them and I will not go out of my way to get them. After tomorrow, I'm free from the cage of anger and caffeine. It'll just be about the music, my friends, my family, and preparing for the transfer to state. But mostly a lot of music and beaching.

Can have lots of hugs now? <3

Just thinking. - 5/19/08

Quiet nights like this, sitting at a computer at work always give me time for reflection. Tired, depressing reflection ^_^ I keep coming back to my courage. I keep thinking about how much I miss that trait of mine. Where'd it go? I never expected that a person could make me completely lose my ability to stand up and say what needs to be said. I didn't think any person could make me want something so badly and still not do anything about it. I'm tired of always talking about doing something. Every day it's "should I?" and "how should I?" Who the hell cares? Obviously no one else is going to change the situation for me, so why shouldn't I have every reason to do it myself? And how do I keep coming up with reasons when there aren't any?

I think I'm really bored ^_^

Vote No on a Marriage Amendment in Nov.

I almost cried on Thursday when I read the article 3 minutes after it was posted on the internet. Gay Marriage is now legal in California! I printed out a copy of the article and carried it around with me like a teddy bear, spreading the news and happy feelings. We're finally getting somewhere and doing something about the bullcrap imposed on homosexuals. People are finally getting off their asses and fighting for what they believe in.

My trouble lies in the fact that many Californians will respond negatively to the Court's repeal. There's no doubt that there will be a call for a state-constitutional amendment banning same-sex marriage, so those of us who believe in equality for everyone should work toward informing and fighting it with every last ounce of energy we can muster. Please do not get so caught up in your busy lives that you'll allow the amendment (an amendment not meant to protect rights, but take them away) to pass into law. This is not something we can just sit by and let happen.

CA : Starting to Make a Little Bit of Sense

May 15, 2008

California Supreme Court Overturns Gay Marriage Ban

By THE ASSOCIATED PRESS

Filed at 1:05 p.m. ET

SAN FRANCISCO (AP) -- The California Supreme Court has overturned a ban on gay marriage, paving the way for California to become the second state where gay and lesbian residents can marry.

The justices released the 4-3 decision Thursday, saying that domestic partnerships are not a good enough substitute for marriage in an opinion written by Chief Justice Ron George.

The cases were brought by the city of San Francisco, two dozen gay and lesbian couples, Equality California and another gay rights group in March 2004 after the court halted San Francisco's monthlong same-sex wedding march that took place at Mayor Gavin Newsom's direction.

Two Weeks Left

I'm insecure again. I was hoping that concept had passed on with the concept of self-obsession. They do always seem to go hand-in-hand. Should I, then, assume that the latter is again present? Hopefully not. I really did go through a good amount of time during which I had little to no significant insecurities, so what's up with the sudden backtrack?

Certain people make it easier to think less of yourself, especially when it's so difficult to find real faults in those people. (Yeah, I know they're there. They always are.) At the same time, those people have the amazing ability to make you remember what you're worth and what you should improve on. They make you a better person. So am I up for the challenge? Absolutely. As soon as the semester ends, I'm going on an improvement spree.

Auto-stupid

What the hell is the problem with the College Board? First they make these bogus tests, make you take them, then don't know how to freaking answer questions about reporting the grades to a college. I asked a very specific question about electronic grade reporting and they responded (after 5 days!) with an automated message that outlines exactly what they have on the website about grade reporting in general. How disgusting. The nerve! To first have a retarded, disorganized and non-user-friendly website, then have a crappy emailing system.

UGH. Can I throw something?

Chowin' on Clam Chowder

I went to Red Sails Inn with a friend on Thursday. I don't think I've felt that happy in a long time, which is a bit remarkable considering my constant state of happiness. Being there reminded me of my childhood, and it was kind of impossible for me to wipe the stupid grin off of my face.

The restaurant is on Shelter Island, overlooking Fisherman's Landing and H&M. Based on the decor, you feel like your on an old, early 20th century fishing boat. I used to go there all the time with my dad to eat clam chowder (because it really is the best clam chowder in San Diego). I always ordered a ton of oyster crackers with the chowder and an appetizer of calamari strips.

Well, this time when I went, the sun set while I was there and we were sitting next to the window, so I saw the docks at night with the lights and peaceful atmosphere. I really miss fishing. I haven't gone on a trip out to sea in a few years, but I never realized how much I missed it. Half the fun is just the trip out, standing at the bow while the boat moved in the direction of the Catalinas or down toward Baja. Then the other half is the fun of having a fish on the line, fighting for everything it's worth.